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Josiah J. Rizzo (@josiahjrizzo) Instagram Profile Photo josiahjrizzo

Josiah J. Rizzo

Instagram Image by Josiah J. Rizzo (@josiahjrizzo) with caption : "I smile a lot. I feel compelled to make others smile. I hate seeing people sad. I struggle to understand why I can’t be " at Sherman Oaks, California - 1807969345461115356
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I smile a lot. I feel compelled to make others smile. I hate seeing people sad. I struggle to understand why I can’t be more... for them. For myself. I put an enormous weight on my shoulders. I’ve played God, yet I am in the same boat as everyone else. I’ve been rejected. Worse - I’ve REJECTED ACCEPTANCE out of self-loathing. I once equated myself and my friends as, “The Island of Lost Toys... a novelty but unacceptable.” I’m posting this now because the demon of suicide reared it’s ugly head in the life of a friend. It was unsuccessful, thankfully, but once you get a peak under the rock you realize how grimy it all is. The hard truth: there aren’t always 13 reasons why... not GOOD ones, anyway. It’s not always circumstantial. It’s cruel, it’s illogical, and it shows up in the most unexpected places... like me. Yes, depression has attacked me. That may not be a comfortable thing to read (because if it could happen to me it could happen to you). But for the first time in 6 years I’m beginning to understand the root of this demon. It has been said that to love is to loss - that pain means you are open to experiencing great joy. Anyone who has ever been attacked with depression knows... it’s never usually pain one feels... in fact, it’s never usually anything at all. I have been numbed by the enemy. I shut myself off to pain (and unknowingly) happiness. But this does not define me. Depression does not define you. God does. None of us can’t carry the world on our shoulders. None of us should. We are human... we are vulnerable... we can’t always smile... but that is not always a bad thing. “For God so LOVED the world, that He gave his only Son...” 2000 years ago a documented man claimed a Heavenly heritage and took on death as an example of His Love. You can call me crazy, but I believe in this radical expression. My only desire is to love as much as He did... whatever the cost. I trust He will make Himself real to you - amidst all the pain, all the monotony, through all the uncertainty and exhaustion. I trust He will show you how loved you truly are! God bless!